the things i enjoy most in life are things i rarely do. i keep myself busy with boredom and worry. my other free time i tend to piss people off until i push them away completely. i stopped the ridiculous drinking binges and somehow dont feel good about it. now i just feel everything instead of masking it by liquor and it sucks. who said that was a good idea. ive seemed to wrap myself into a few peoples lives only to realize i may not want to be in them. so inevitably i will hurt them. here we go again. i cant pretend i truly feel bad about it. i have been stepped on and mentally battered so much so in the past that i could care less about these people that are presently in my life. a girl i work with told me you get what you give. what the fuck. no you dont. you get what you get and give out only to be disappointed later. lets be serious.